Due to recent changes in our work status, we have lots of time on my hands, so Jukeboxgrad has decided to hire me and my brother Wayne to travel around the area and locate some of the "characters" Bruce sings about, just to stay up to date on what is happenin' n their lives.To Comment on Wayne&Wayne's Night With Rosie.......
Our first quest, successful I proudly add, was to locate "Rosie", as in "Rosalita (come out tonight)!! She agreed to meet us in a VFW Post in Newark, and we spent last Tuesday night finding out "how come he don't sing Rosie no more"!!
Rosie is 47 now, has dyed her hair blue and spends most of her time at her country club up in Monmouth County. Eventually the talk came around to Bruce, and it went like this:
"I wish he would have realized, that keepin' me out late, against the wishes of my Mom and Dad, was gonna cause me nothin' but problems. It also resulted in my "almost perpetual grounding". My Dad hated him! Big advance from the record company! HA!!! They gave him 155 dollars and advised him to stop singin "Mary Queen of Arkansas" so much! Then the baby came and our life was complicated by his constant layoffs at the refinery, and I could not keep him away from those tramps on Easy Street for anything! He was constantly forcin' me to dress up and meet him in Atlantic City or in some cheap little seashore bar.
Ya think he'd spring for a meal??? a movie???? NOOOOOOOO.....it was always.....I"m broke Rosie.....I got debts no honest man can pay!........Rosie.......YOU"RE THE ONE......Yeah.....right!! I'm the one!!!! The one who always ended up at Greasy Lake or Scrap Metal Hill......what a cheapo!!
I eventually left him, took a job at the Stop n Shop, and he drifted away with some slut named Wendy (who is four years older than she admits by the way).. I ended up doin' some exotic dancin', you know....to keep up with the tuition payments. Five years ago I married an investment counselor, and I now drive a Jag...people can reach me at SoftnSwtTung4U@aol.com. Ya know...he really should have gotten me home on time. My life could have been so much different!! Why couldnt he just have dropped me off.....said goodnite....and gone home and masturbated....like normal guys do!
Dad was right (God bless his soul)... When some guy calls ya and tells ya he's comin to "CONFISCATE YOU"...don't open the door!!"
We were almost out the door when I realized we hadn't asked THE QUESTION!!!! So we hurried back inside! "Rosie", I asked, "How come he don't sing Rosie no more?"An evil grin came over her, she chuckled and pulled out a stack of pictures! As she passed them to me.....she said..."His constant singin' of that song....was no different than writin' my name and phone number......on the men's room wall!! Then guys like you two.....come lookin for me all the time....so I sent him copies of these photos...Yep.....that's him.......naked as a jaybird....taken at Greasy Lake.... wearin' only a Nehru jacket and his Beatle Boots!! If he ever sings that song again..... they go to Entertainment Tonight and the National Enquirer!!!! And I constantly check the setlists.....on RMAS....every nite...just to make sure he dont!!!!!
We said our goodbyes....and me and Wayne headed home. She gave us the phone number.....for JOEY.....the "tilt-a-whirl" dude....We're goin' to a Devils game with him......this week.....more to come!!
Rock On!!!!!
Wayne&Wayne
